Top Ten Ways to Repurpose Your Pee Sticks

As good stewards of our earth, we should all be looking for ways to reduce, reuse, and recycle. Why send all those used, negative pregnancy tests and ovulation strips to take up space in a landfill? Here are my Top Ten Ways to Repurpose Your Pee Sticks:

10) Build bridges, catapults, and houses, a la popsicle stick construction.

9) Always digging in your purse to find your keys? Attach a pee stick to your key ring. Problem solved! Now they're easily found.

8) Pick a lock. This one will probably only work for the strips.

7) Mark where lines are buried in your yard, instead of using flags.

6) Play fetch with your dog.

5) Arrange them into avante guard wall art or room decor.

4) Space your toes while painting your nails.

3) Replace lost Rock Band drum sticks with them.

2) Make a baby mobile, using the pee sticks as charms. This way, when your baby finally comes, you can literally hold evidence of the hell you went through to get that kid over his or her head.

And, the #1 Way to Repurpose Your Pee Sticks:

1) When trapped in a gingerbread house owned by an evil woman threatening to throw you and Gretel in an oven, hold a pee stick through your cage bars. She will think it is your finger and that you're not fat enough. At least it will buy you some time.

Please comment to submit your idea for repurposing all our pee sticks. The Good Lord knows we've used tons of them. Do it for Mother Earth.